I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize