we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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