Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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