My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
