There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
