What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
