You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
