im having a threesome with these popsicles
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
