He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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