Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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