if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
