she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
