He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You should frame my arrest warrant.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
