Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
