Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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