Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
