well I can't set my house on fire every night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
