ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
