Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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