I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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