Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
