Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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