I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
