But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
