I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
