Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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