So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
