my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
