worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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