i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
