Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
