i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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