it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
