Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
