Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
