saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize