he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we made out on top of his cat.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
