I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
