threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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