i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
