dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
