Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize