i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You're like the curious george of whores
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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