I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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