I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You can't special order awesome
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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