She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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