When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
