Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You can't special order awesome
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
