The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
