I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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