I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
