tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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