TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
now i know why i became what i already was.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
