My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
