What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
