I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You're so nebulous sometimes
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
