Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
