How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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