Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Farmville is her only friend.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
