so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
