She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
