Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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