Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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