She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
